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When the Earth was founded, among the thousands of planet-states ruled by the triumverate lovingly referred to as "CSU: Celestial Spaghetti Unicorn," there were only three forms of life. The Human race was one, and still remains to be to this day. The second and third are penguins and felines... This concept may lead one to believe that there are only three creatures roaming the Earth. This would be incorrect, as there are millions of things on the surface of the planet, but all excluding the aforementioned three (And one that has yet to be introduced.) are made of Low Fat / Low Carb / Pepsi Vanilla flavoured Ice Cream... this leads them not only to be pathetic, but also inedible. Much care is suggested when visiting the planet in order to avoid these creatures.
As stated, there is a fourth form of life... I, the writer and proprietor of this Interblag Blog am the only living member of this species. It is known as "Awesome." -- With the ability to fend of enemies by use of razorblades attached to long strands of french-braided hair and to seduce wasted Humans by coming off as even more wasted... perpetually wasted and to use that very same ability to avoid undesirable encounters, the Cameron is the most versatile creature ever to be created by our loving Gods, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Celestial Teapot, with some support from demigods Anabell-Lee, Blacksmith and Spiffy.